IIT KGP En Plein Air Diary – Epilogue

Epilogue

27 April, 2018

I saw a dream. And in just over a year’s time it has come to be fulfilled. I thought on this day I’ll be the happiest person on earth. But today I don’t really feel happy or thrilled. On the contrary for some unknown reasons I feel heaviness engulfing in my heart.

Also read the Prologue , Chapter I , Chapter II, Chapter III, Chapter IV,  Chapter V, Chapter VI and Chapter VII of IITKGPEPA Diary!

After the shoot of the film ended on a high, the journey of IITKGPEPA project went on a downward spiral until last month. The first editor of the film spent over six months on the film. Even after all that time he was unable to proceed beyond the first two minutes of the film. I am not sure what the reason was, but to me it looked like he had lost interest. Whatever the reason, he did not make progress and we had to find a new editor. This is how one member of the camera crew, came on board as the new editor. But he too could not make any real progress in the last three months. Now that the academic session is going to end and our director Lokesh is going to leave KGP, it looked game over for IIT KGP en plein air project. But then what seemed like a divine intervention (again), both Lokesh and new editor decided to stay back in KGP after their end semester exams to complete the film. Lokesh messaged me this seemingly fabulous piece of news today. That meant finally the film is going to be completed within the few days. Surely this piece of news should have got me very excited. But it has not. My intuition just does not allow me to be happy. May be it is the exasperating experience of dealing with the editors or maybe it is just premonition. Whatever the case may be, I just do not feel fine.

04 May, 2018

Universe has played a very dirty joke on me. I am completely shattered. How can a hard disk get misplaced? I just do not believe what the editor has told me just now. It is not like a needle has got lost in a haystack. It’s a hard drive which had been lost inside a room of not more than 100 square feet of space. And the nonchalance in the tone of our editor has troubled me even further. He made it seem as if it is just another hard disk which has been misplaced. It was not just a hard disk. It was my dream. It was a big chunk of my heart and soul. And then what about a backup copy? Two hard drives were acquired for this project. The backup copy must be present somewhere. A lost hard disk just cannot be an excuse now. I don’t know what the truth is, but I just cannot believe what I have been told.

A few captures at Harrys' — A few captures at Harrys’

29 May, 2018

It has been a very tough month. I have not been able to focus on anything. Sleep has been hard to come by all these days. Sharing with friends also has not helped.

I completely believed that the film that captured the spirit of IIT Kharagpur was meant to be made. I believed it in so much so that I started imagining coincidences to be signs of destiny. I had created an alternate reality for myself and had got trapped in it. And that’s why it has been so painful. Some of my friends suggest that I should go for it again. But what has passed can’t be recreated. What was captured on camera then just cannot be captured again. It will be different; very different. Even if I gather the courage to do it all over again it will be a different film. It may look similar from outer appearance, but in spirit it will be completely different. It will not be able to fill the void of what has been lost. But anyway right now I do not have the courage or strength to do it all over again. I am afraid the universe will trick me once again.

31 May, 2018

Does it really have to end like this? I have been behaving as if the world has come to an end. Whats wrong with me! Not many people dare to dream and pursue it like what I have done. Yes, it has ended in a way which has been difficult for me to accept and the cynics are probably laughing right now. But that cannot make me weak. Yes I do not have the film to show. But I have something significant to show right now. I have those art works I made. They stand witness to the amazing experience I had. Though they cannot replace the film, they capture the spirit of IIT KGP in a way that nothing else can capture.

My journey did not have the destination I expected. But what matters to me now is that I took the journey. My paintings bear a testimony to this journey. And they will touch people. They will be able to transport people back to KGP. People will experience their journeys at IIT Kharagpur all over again through my work.

Probably this was the destiny universe had in mind for my journey. As of now I’ll take that, till I start dreaming again.

p.s. Luckily I had this part of the film from the initial edits which will continue to remind me of my unfulfilled dream.

IIT KGP En Plein Air Diary – Chapter VII

Sin and Redemption

29 July 2017, Day 6 of the shoot

After the Jnan Ghosh shoot we pushed on to Harrys’ (now called Tikkas’). The footage of earlier shoot at Harry’s had gotten deleted by mistake. Hence we were back today to shoot there again. No one really likes it when such accidents happen. I was also disappointed albeit momentarily. My first painting at Harry’s had not gone off well. It was a little overworked and I was not happy with it at all. It kept troubling me until I heard the news about the footage. After the initial shock I felt a sense of calm putting my troubled mind to rest. A divine intervention had given me a second shot at Harry’s, and a chance of redemption.

Also read the Prologue , Chapter I , Chapter II, Chapter III, Chapter IV,  Chapter V and Chapter VI of IITKGPEPA Diary!

Before the shoot all of us did the customary breakfast at Harrys’ of Dal Puri, Sabzi, Rasagolla and coffee. I have always enjoyed having breakfast at Harry’s. In fact I don’t know anyone who does not swear by it. A great combination of taste, flavour and texture; the breakfast tasted exactly the same as it used to taste twenty years back. But what makes the breakfast unique is the ambience. I am not sure if one can get to sit under the shade of a banyan tree with huge open spaces all around to have one’s breakfast while listening to the chirping of birds (and occasional droppings) in the company of friends anywhere else other than Harry’s.

Vegies/Eggies is the lifeline of student life after dark. Harrys’ takes up this role during rest of the day. This is the chai adda of KGP. I have always loved this place. But during this visit to KGP this place made me realize how privileged I have been to spend a part of my life here in the lap of nature. While being at KGP we probably take the greenery for granted. But only when we go out of KGP to man-made concrete jungles we realize how fortunate we have been to have lived here. Dotted with old and ancient trees, the mini forests of KGP campus serve as a safe haven for many species of birds and reptiles. But with so much of construction work happening around the campus some of this natural heritage is under threat. And I hope the development work does not bring much damage to the natural ecosystem here.

*******************

Painting in a 'C' curve — Painting in a ‘C’ curve

After a hearty Harrys’ breakfast it was time to get back to the job. And to my pleasant surprise I had the company of one of the better-known artists in the campus to paint with. Gopinath is a final year student and a well known member of the art club at IIT KGP. It was very good to have him painting alongside- painting outdoors in a group always energises me and I was very happy to have Gopinath with me today.

Today was last day of the shoot and I can’t help but wonder how things have panned out in the last eight days. It seemed game over even before the project began. It felt as if the universe did not approve of the scheme. But now it feels like things could not have gone better. Every place I made a painting of was done at the appropriate time and in the right settings and right frame of mind. I could not have got such a romantic wet scene of Nehru Museum had it not been for the rain. It was a difficult choice between my memories and the outer reality, but I am glad I decided to paint the former at Azad Hall. The timing of painting the main building probably brought out the emotionality in the painting. The accidental conversation at Vegies had settled my nerves and I ended up with a painting that surprised even me. The fading light on the first trial shoot at Kali Das’ had made sure I painted the place at a later time when it had a great mood. I could not have gotten better light than what I had today morning at Jnan Ghosh. And finally it was Harrys’ where I redeemed myself because of nothing less than a divine intervention.

The painting came together with the shadow wash at the bottom

A cynic would probably dismiss it as coincidence, but not the romantic in me. During one of the shoots the director of the film had mentioned a quote about making documentaries.

“For fictional films the director is God but for a documentary, God is the director.”

I can’t speak for documentary films in general, but for me IITKGPEPA project has just illustrated this point.

En Plein Air at Harrys' — En Plein Air at Harrys’

Next Up - The Conclusion of IITKGP En Plein Air Project

IIT KGP En Plein Air Diary – Chapter VI

The Insignificant One

29 July 2017, Day 6 of the shoot

When sun comes out after continuous rains of almost a week, it really does look bright and glorious. The light looks fresh and the greenery even fresher. Which is how it was today morning -the lush green Jnan Ghosh stadium washed in the ochre light of the sun was a stunner. And when nature is at its best you know who the only real artist is.

Also read the Prologue , Chapter I , Chapter II, Chapter III, Chapter IV and  Chapter V of IITKGPEPA Diary!

With grass below my feet.... — With grass below my feet….

As I approached Jnan Ghosh stadium today early in the morning, I could see NSO classes going on in full swing. The physical training coach was shouting out commands for an aerobic session and a huge gathering of students in front of him were following his movements and instructions. As I got close their actions seemed to be almost nonchalant and understandably so. There was something common between the NSO squad and me today morning. Both of us did not want to perform what we were supposed to perform in Jnan Ghosh.

It was indeed a difficult task to paint today morning as I just wanted to enjoy the fleeting beauty of nature to the fullest. I wanted to enjoy that emptiness of space around me where Mother Nature was busy playing with an analogous and minimalist colour scheme of yellow and green. But I was there to do a job. So I tried to fill up my canvas with same hues and tones to capture the rare golden ochre light which was slowly turning harsh as the sun moved overhead.

The work I ended up with was a decent one. But still it was a humbling experience to paint at Jnan Ghosh stadium today. The beauty of nature is beyond human imagination and human grasp. Every time I am faced with such beauty it makes me realise of my insignificance and the insignificance of what I do.

But I guess this realization is a good thing and one of the major benefits of painting en plein air.

Next - Redemption at Harrys'

IIT KGP En Plein Air Diary – Chapter V

Head or the Heart?

27 July 2017, Day 5 of the shoot

Painting at night under outdoor lighting is an exercise in self belief. The outdoor light makes all colors look almost same. It is difficult to gauge even the tonality of the paint. In a nut shell, the visual feedback from the painting is almost gone. So you have to get a feel of how paint flows on paper and trust your instinct and go ahead with painting. Painting today evening at Vegies was no different.

Also read the Prologue , Chapter I , Chapter II, Chapter III and Chapter IV of IITKGPEPA Diary!

People don't come to Vegies just to eat — People don’t come to Vegies just to eat

People do not come to Vegies to eat. They come there to have conversations (not discussions), wonder about life (even afterlife in some cases), introspect, plan their futures, pass time, grow their love lives, find new love, discover themselves…… Some people come there just to be at Vegies. Vegies probably is at the heart of student life at KGP. And when you know you are going to paint something so close to heart of all KGPians and that too in the night, you know you are under pressure. I was quite nervous about the painting today.

Something's cooking — Something’s cooking

But when there is a problem, a solution often comes with it.

I set myself up to paint on one corner table. There were two guys already at the table, and as it turned out they were already aware of IITKGPEPA project. So a conversation started immediately between the three of us as I started to sketch. The conversation was about the age-old tussle between the heart and the head. The path of the head is always more predictable while the path of the heart is full of surprises at every turn. But following the later is more fulfilling than the former. And those who realize that there are actually two paths to choose from are always looking for answers to make up their mind. The two guys sitting with me, at the beginning of their adult lives and standing at the cross roads of head and heart finally turned to me to provide them with some answers. I carefully avoided answering such an existential question, because I don’t think such questions really have a clear answer. And frankly I did not have any answers at that point of time. I could sense that they were a little disappointed with whatever I had to offer. However the conversation had worked its magic and the butterflies had flown out of my stomach.

The film crew had also arrived by then and my painting seemed to progress well. The painting got over around the same time when Vegies was transforming to Eggies and it was becoming noisier and livelier. Back in the room under better lighting conditions, when I checked the painting to see how it had turned out, I was very pleased. What I had in front of me was different from the way I usually paint. It would not have turned out this way had I painted this under proper lights. Painting in full light surely would have been safer, more predictable (discounting the fact that watercolour itself is not very predictable) and eight out of ten times I would have made a successful painting. But by taking the risk of painting at night under street lamps and following my gut instinct I ended up with something that surprised even myself. But it does not always happen. In fact most of the time, it is a disaster. But today was a day when things fell into place and hence there was this small little self discovery sort of thing about myself as an artist.

More importantly I guess I had found some answers to the questions that I had avoided answering earlier in the evening today.

Next - Capturing the ochre light at Jnan Ghosh stadium

IIT KGP En Plein Air Diary – Chapter IV

A long due wish fulfilled

26 July 2017, Day 4 of the shoot

The Canteen at Nehru Museum, popularly known as “Kali Da’s”, was not on my list of places to paint; because it never existed twenty years earlier. But when I happened to be there just five days earlier, I really did not have to think about it twice. I knew I had to paint this place.

Also read the Prologue , Chapter I , Chapter II and Chapter III of IITKGPEPA Diary!

Kali Da’s is that kind of a place that transports you back in time. It slows you down completely. The canteen runs on the first floor of Nehru Museum on the rear side corridors. Big arched windows line the corridor, overlooking archaic tile roofed buildings cramped between centuries old banyan trees. The rays of the sun find it hard to penetrate the thick leafy canopy, but those that do – create a mystical ambience with the dappled light . And when it rains, it’s a sight to behold! It makes you forget about your isolated physical existence as you feel completely one with nature. And with the pocket friendly offerings of tea, snacks and shikanji, it’s a place that can inspire writers, poets, singers, dancers, and of course – painters.

I too was more than inspired when I went there five days earlier. In fact I was kind of desperate to paint this place. I did have a try on the first day of shoot in the afternoon. But the cloud cover had made the light too weak for shooting. The place from where I wanted to paint was middle of the alley that connects the front corridor to the rear corridors and the lack of light there did not make it easy to paint, let alone shoot.

The light where I painted was just manageable

Today, however, there was enough light for me to paint – though still not good enough for the film crew. But I am sure they still did get some great shots. Moreover; today not being a weekend the canteen was open unlike the last time I wanted to paint here. And there was this subtle buzz around with people enjoying tea and conversations. It really helped to build a great mood for the painting along with the sense of solitude that still hung around in the air, irrespective of the people present.

The final work was satisfactory. I think I did manage to capture the reflective and introspective mood of the place. But that was not the reason why I felt so happy and full of joy today. Though I saw this place just five days before, it felt as if a long due wish to paint in this place has been fulfilled.

En Plein Air at Kali Da's — En Plein Air at Kali Da’s

Check out what happens next when I painted Vegies under street lamps.

IIT KGP En Plein Air Diary – Chapter III

Saying a Prayer

25 July 2017, Day 3 of the shoot

It had been two days since our last shoot and the rain God has not been benevolent. To be fair, He had been kind for some time and we had shot at Harry’s yesterday under a light drizzle and fading light. But there was a goof up. The footage had gotten deleted by mistake. These were not good signs. Hence, I had prayed really hard this morning, and guess what -it was answered!

Also read the Prologue , Chapter I and Chapter II of IITKGPEPA Diary!

In the afternoon I saw sun’s rays for the first time in the last four days; and what a relief it was! The skies cleared up and within an hour I was there painting at the institute building, better known as insti building or just insti.

My fold-able palette best suited for outdoor works

It was admission time and classes were also getting over. Hence there was a big rush everywhere. The new guys were trying to find directions to various places; a few of them along with their parents. There were some parents who were leaving and hence having last words with their sons and daughters. I could catch some of the conversations and was amazed by how the parting words have not changed much over the years. The usual “have your breakfast in time, call every day, sleep on time…” stuff. Useless stuff really, but I guess all these serve well to hide the turbulence of emotions that parents go through at this point of time.

****************

The architecture of institute building looks deceptively simple. But its only when I started drawing out the shapes I realized how difficult it was to put it down on paper from a three quarter view. As I kept observing the structure to draw, I could not help but notice how massive and impressive it was. It stood there like a giant with the firmness of a mountain and gentleness of a mother. While the building extended a long way horizontally to keep it rooted, the library tower rose up and kissed the skies. It was like a metaphor of modern India that this very building has helped build; or at least has hoped to build.

The place where it all began twenty years earlier

With the kind of farewell moments happening around me, my mind could not help but drift back twenty years in time when I, as a first year student stood in front of this very building. Excited about being here yet, humbled by the aura of this structure I had prayed for a fruitful time for the next four years of my life. And those four years had been more than fruitful. It had been nothing less than a revelation.

My painting was coming to a closure just in time as the light began to fade. I was happy with the outcome. At the same time the memories of my KGP time were making me feel very nostalgic. Overwhelmed with the sea of emotions flowing through me, as I began to pack my kit I said a prayer for the second time today looking up at this great structure of modern India.

The film crew in action as I come close to completion

Nothing in particular; Just a prayer… I can’t even remember it now. Maybe it was for the success of IITKGPEPA project.

Read next part when I painted something that I had wanted to paint for 'a very long time'.

IIT KGP En Plein Air Diary – Chapter II

The Memory Remains

23 July 2017, Day 2 of the shoot

As predicted by the weatherman, the rain continued to pour. But we had a plan in place. And that plan was to paint at Azad hall where we would be able to get some cover. But I was not really ready for the cover under which I finally painted today.

(Please read the Prologue and Chapter I of IITKGPEPA Diary before continuing!)

Painting of Abul Kalam Azad at entrance of the hall

After a hearty breakfast at TGH I started off towards Azad hall with my umbrella. As I walked towards my hall of residence memories were starting to come back. The film crew had not reached our rendezvous and I had some time to kill. So I started to move around in the hall. As I walked around the hostel rooms, basketball court, play grounds, mess top, common room and corridors, everything around me were starting to play tricks on my mind. I was suddenly transported back in time. I was standing there not surrounded by buildings, but by memories. Memories that had lain dormant for a long time, but today they were so fresh that they felt more real than the physical reality around me.

I was shaken out of the trance by Ashok Da. And then I met up with Govind Da and Sam D. Azad HP (both ex and current) joined me soon and to my surprise they already had arrangements in place for the shoot. While painting at Nehru Museum yesterday I met with Piyush (Azadian) to whom I had casually mentioned about our plans of painting at Azad hall today. Meanwhile he had gotten in touch with Sashwat (Ex HP) who borrowed a multicolored picnic umbrella from the canteen at Krishna tower, so that I could paint under it.

Now painting under a multicolored picnic umbrella is really not simple. You have these different colors of light tinting your paper while painting which make judgement of colors quiet tricky. But that was the best arrangement that we had today and it is only such unpredictable challenges which makes painting en plein air all the more interesting. So I went ahead. But another challenge popped up even sooner.

The camera crew busy with their work as I am busy with mine

I was there to paint the scene in front of me. But my memories had completely overwhelmed me and I wanted to paint my memories. And in this tussle finally the latter won. I guess I had lost interest in the outer reality today as I was in deep touch with my inner reality. So eventually my brushes painted a scene from my memory. A happy memory of coming back to the hall after classes, having snacks at mess and having conversations with everyone. That was the time of the day when I would feel exactly like how it feels to be back home.

Painting displayed in the mess during lunch

And today while painting at Azad hall I was back home.

Next - My Experience while I painted Insti Building

IIT KGP En Plein Air Diary – Chapter I

The story always begins here

22 July 2017, Day 1 of the shoot

Today was the day when shooting for IITKGP En Plein Air project was planned to begin. And it did begin today, but not as planned.

At least that’s what I thought.

(Please read the Prologue to this story first!)

The shoot was supposed to begin at Jnan Ghosh Stadium at 6:00 in the morning. With butterflies in my stomach, all I could do last night was to keep turning sides in bed. Trying to check the time every now and then also did not help my cause. And then, around 5 in the morning, I heard the first drops of rain. Soon, it had turned into a relentless downpour; and all I could do was to stand against the large glass window of Technology guest house and look at the skies in desperation. There were no signs of the rains letting up.

nature too painted nehru museum — Nature too painted a picture of Nehru museum

It was 9 in the morning and the rain was still coming down, albeit much weaker. I checked the weather report for the day. The weather man’s prediction was not good at all. It was supposed to rain the whole day. Then I checked the weather report for the next seven days. And if I were to believe the report, the only time when we can shoot would be only after six days. KGP is supposed to have continuous rains for the next six days. At that point devastated would have been an understatement to describe how I felt.

camera crew in discussion — Camera crew in serious discussion

It took about an hour to gather myself and I started looking for possible solutions. A sudden passing image of chemical department came to my mind, which I had visited yesterday to find a possible aerial viewing point for Nehru museum. The cycle-stand of chemical department was covered and it had an open view of the Nehru museum. And hence I could paint from there even in rain. Suddenly energized with this new possibility, I packed my painting kit and started off. Soon the film crew joined me; and according to them the light was perfect for the shoot. But that was not the only thing that was perfect that day.

The cycle shed of chemical dept turned out to be one of the best spots from where I could paint Nehru Museum. It was drizzling and the wet roads and moist air created one of the most perfect romantic rainy moods for painting. As clichéd as it may sound, the atmosphere was magical. Hijli detention camp stood there nonchalantly like a graceful danseuse bathed in the rain and glowing in the faint warm sunlight trying to break through the cover of clouds. While it was difficult for anyone to miss her beauty, she made no airs about it. She just stood there today(as she had been doing all these years), watching rickshaw puller dada go about his job as usual while students came and went. She had stood there watching generations come and go. She had seen history being made and repeated. She stood there when IIT was born in her. And she stood watching even today as the IITKGP En Plein Air project took off.

Back in 1951 the story had begun here. And for IITKGPEPA it had to begin here.

Just as planned by the universe.

Next - Find out about my struggle while painting Azad Hall

IIT KGP En Plein Air Diary – Prologue

02 May 2017, Day of Trial Shoot

“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it” – The Alchemist

May be this is really how it works after all! I can’t say for sure, and only time will tell;but till now there have been enough indications to prove it; and I am slowly turning into a believer.

Trial in Progress — Trial shoot in Progress at Nehru Museum

As a plein air painter and a KGPian, I have always wanted to come back and capture the different moods of our campus in real time on canvas. I probably started thinking about it more than seven years ago when I got hooked onto painting outdoors. But frankly, I had never really wanted to do it desperately enough. The ‘wanting really bad’ thing happened in March this year when I came back to meet a friend at campus. I was in the campus after twenty years; and was seeing it through the eyes of a painter this time. That is when inspiration struck. Around the same time I was also exploring the idea of making short sketching based videos for a government organisation (which never moved beyond concept stage). As a natural progression, by that night I was dreaming of not only painting different locations in the campus, but also of capturing it on film. By the next morning, it had turned into a very strong desire.

Back home I started to look for documentary film makers. I met a few amateurs and professionals but nothing really worked out. Either I would not be convinced about the person or he would not be convinced about my idea. And when there was agreement, the budget was far beyond what I thought I could raise. As an artist my own income is meager and suddenly the idea of making the film seemed too far fetched because of the costs involved. There was a point when I had almost given up on my dream. But as luck would have it I got introduced to the ex Gymkhana VP of IITKGP and that is when I learnt about Technology Filmmaking and Photography Society (TFPS). And suddenly there was a ray of hope.

Very soon I was talking to Lokesh (TFPS head) and he seemed to like the idea and I liked what I saw of his work as a film maker and we decided to meet at KGP. Yesterday when I came down and met Lokesh, we started bonding in no time and I thought that was a great sign. But even after more than four hours of delightful conversation and ideation, what initially seemed to be a great idea was not looking like an implementable one. Both of us were completely unsure of how to go about making the film. That’s why we decided to do a trial shoot today, and probably that would help Lokesh to get some idea about how the film can be made.

*********

When I woke up today morning I was pretty nervous. The events of the day would probably decide whether the film can be made or not…

The first place for the shoot was Nehru museum. The combination of my nerves and May heat of KGP made me quite jittery and restless. Needless to say, I was not happy with what I painted there. It was a complete blur. Thankfully none of the camera guys turned up for the shoot; and the trial shoot was moved to the afternoon at Vegies.

It was around 4 in the afternoon when I reached Vegies and took my position opposite to the entrance. The heat had come down, and there was a slight breeze. Vegies was slowly coming back to life as people had started returning from classes. I started sketching to get used to my environment and soon I felt relaxed. Probably it was a bit of everything that put me at ease. Or maybe it was the aura of Vegies. The camera guys soon turned up and started shooting. My inspired self was starting to break free from my nervous self and colours were starting to flow well on paper. Short conversations were being made with passers- by (which is such an integral part of the process of painting en plein air) and I was enjoying myself. Soon it was dark, but I managed to finish the painting in time.

Post the shoot we moved to Vegies and soon others joined in. Everyone seemed to like what I had done and I could sense that Lokesh had also got some direction in his head about the film. With most of the equipment and professional fees removed from the equation, the expenses for the film are also looking reasonable now. I think I should be able to raise the funds needed.

Looking back at how things have progressed so far, I feel very happy and positive right now. The idea that seemed to have hit a dead end just a month ago, has just found wings and is ready to take off…Well, almost. The film crew still need to get clarity about the film, funds still need to be raised and everything else still needs to fall into place. But I have a gut feel and it’s a good one; – that Paulo Coelho is going to be right after all!

Next - Read how IIT KGP En Plein Air project kicked off two months later.